Recently, I've been looking for an internship. It's the second semester of my junior year, and since I don't plan to take the postgraduate entrance exam (I feel that there are two reasons: avoiding work and loving research, but unfortunately, I don't want either), I clumsily opened the door to society—internships.
I wasn't prepared... Yes, I still can't face the pressure that work brings, and I can't quickly switch from the comfortable campus life to commuting, colleagues, and reporting various workplace tasks. I'm not avoiding it; I just can't adapt for now. 😔 On February 27, the results of my retake exam came out, and I passed. Finally, I could relax and then threw myself into sending resumes and looking for internships. On February 28, I created my first resume on https://rxresu.me, starting my university retrospective journey. I thought I should write something impressive on my resume, right? Looking back at what I learned during university, it seems there isn't a single project I can showcase. The only thing I can mention is my web scraping skills and Markdown (of course, that doesn't really count). What else is there? I still can't figure out my interpersonal relationships or my often low mood.
That day was a Friday, and I had a class with one of my favorite professors during my university years. I remember she first taught us in the second semester of our sophomore year in "Innovative Thinking and Academic Writing." I was immediately attracted by her teaching style, always enjoying a relaxed and pleasant classroom atmosphere, and she could joke and interact with students. I can't help but think of myself back then, a year ago... I used to have a kind of confidence, believing that although there are very difficult things in this world, I could definitely understand the mysteries within them. So, I wrote my course paper on "Design of a Q&A Robot Based on LangChain—Taking an Insurance Pricing Strategy Suggestion Q&A Robot as an Example." Through this paper, I gradually recognized that the format of papers can limit academic development. That semester, many wonderful ideas and my love for knowledge were realized...
On March 5, I completed the first version of my resume, my first resume, which included my phone number, WeChat ID, email, and a handsome profile picture. In my resume, I wrote, "Passionate about technology, with coding standards, strong self-learning ability, a keen interest in new technologies, and actively keeping up with industry trends, participating in relevant forums, and embracing AI technology." In fact, that's all I have; the rest is just some Python, git, Linux, etc. My project experience comes from a project I did during my sophomore year for a visualization competition, and I have no internship experience. The only eye-catching thing on my resume might be my school, which is the only shining point I can present. So, I sent my resume everywhere, applying for many summer internships at big companies. As long as they were based in Shanghai and met the basic requirements, I applied. In reality, only big companies were willing to give interview opportunities; small companies wanted someone who could directly handle projects, and if I didn't meet the requirements, I was immediately passed over. Thus, I faced my first written test and my first interview (Byte - Feishu Testing) https://base.bangwu.top/%E7%8E%84%E5%A2%83/%E7%AC%94%E8%AF%95/ Here are my written test and interview experiences. One thing I clearly understood is that I have no algorithm foundation and can only do simple sorting algorithms, so I can't get into big companies. The interview was just to practice a bit and remind myself to work harder. Thanks to the interviewer for their valuable time. 🙏
The past few days have been quite anxious. Until I finished my interview at noon, all my applications entered a pending state. I took a break from my busy schedule, and the first thing I did was sleep and rest. Then I secretly made up my mind. It’s undeniable that I have indeed been slacking off for a long time. Just as a friend said before, I chose to self-study but still didn't persist.
I'm not saying this to seek sympathy; don't pity me. I'm a detestable person, nor am I trying to portray myself as someone battered by work. In fact, I can still find internships, but my expectations have lowered. Similarly, I still have a curiosity for exploring new things. Before writing this article, I briefly learned about Byte's newly open-sourced cross-end framework, Lynx.
In the past, I always thought that rote memorization was low. In high school, I looked down on classmates who only knew how to apply formulas to solve problems and rigidly memorized Chinese answer templates. In college, I looked down on students who interacted more with teachers to boost their GPAs and crazily memorized knowledge points before finals. I increasingly feel that life is a long-term learning process. Now, I look down on myself, just as I have scorned my soul seven times when it could have been ambitious but pretended to be humble. Recently, I've thought of many past events, but I just sighed and quickly threw myself back into looking for internships.
While showering at night, I chatted with my roommate about how difficult it is to find an internship. As we talked, we mentioned how the overall environment is not good. I remembered the saying, "In a bad environment, everyone starts to doubt the meaning of hard work." What is wrong with this world? Yes, what is wrong with this world?
Moving forward in anxiety, let's encourage each other!
"You are the intimacy I never had and cannot capture.
Yet I have your kiss, your soul, your heart,
Carrying me to fly, fly, fly, beyond meaning."