Recently, I've been looking for an internship. It's already the second semester of my junior year, and since I have no plans for graduate school (I feel that the reasons for pursuing it are just to escape work and a love for research, neither of which I want), I clumsily opened the door to society—internships.
I wasn't prepared... Yes, I still can't face the pressure that work brings, and I can't quickly switch from the comfortable campus life to commuting, colleagues, and reporting various workplace matters. I'm not avoiding it; I just can't adapt yet 😔. On February 27, the results of my retake exam came out, and I passed. Finally, I could relax and then threw myself into sending resumes and looking for internships. On February 28, I created my first resume on https://rxresu.me, starting my college review journey. I had to write something impressive on my resume, right? Looking back at what I learned during college, it seems I don't have any standout projects. The only thing I can mention is my web scraping skills and Markdown (which definitely doesn't count). What else is there? I still can't figure out my interpersonal relationships or my often low moods.
That day was a Friday, and I had a class with one of my favorite professors during college. I remember she first taught us in the second semester of our sophomore year in "Innovative Thinking and Academic Writing." I was immediately attracted by her teaching style, always enjoying a relaxed and pleasant classroom atmosphere, and she could joke and interact with students. I can't help but think of my past self, a year ago... Back then, I had a kind of confidence, believing that although there are very difficult things in this world, I could definitely understand the mysteries within. So, I wrote my course paper on "Design of a Q&A Robot Based on LangChain—Taking an Insurance Pricing Strategy Suggestion Q&A Robot as an Example." Through this paper, I gradually recognized that the format of papers can limit academic development. That semester, many wonderful ideas and a love for knowledge were realized...
On March 5, I completed the first version of my resume, my first resume, which included my phone number, WeChat ID, email, and a handsome profile picture. In my resume, I wrote, "Passionate about technology, with coding standards, strong self-learning ability, a keen interest in new technologies, and actively following industry trends, participating in relevant forums, and embracing AI technology." In fact, that's all I have; the rest is just some Python, Git, Linux, and so on. My project experience comes from a project I did during my sophomore year for a visualization competition, with no internship experience. The only eye-catching thing on my resume is probably the school, which is the only shining point I can present. So, I sent out many applications for summer internships at big companies, applying to any that were based in Shanghai and met the basic requirements. In reality, only big companies were willing to give interview opportunities; small companies wanted someone who could immediately handle projects, and they passed on anyone who didn't meet their requirements. Thus, I faced my first written test and my first interview (Byte - Feishu Testing) https://base.bangwu.top/env/%E9%9D%A2%E7%BB%8F/
Here are my written test and interview experiences. First, I clearly know that I have no algorithm foundation and can only do simple sorting algorithms, so I can't enter big companies. The interview was just to practice and remind myself that I need to work hard. I appreciate the interviewer's valuable time 🙏.
The past few days have been quite anxious. Until I finished my interview at noon, all my applications were in a pending state. I took a break from my busy schedule, and the first thing I did was sleep and rest. Then I secretly made up my mind. It’s undeniable that I have indeed been slacking off for a long time. Just as a friend said before, I chose to self-study but still couldn't stick with it.
I'm not saying this to seek sympathy; don't pity me. I'm a despicable person, nor am I trying to portray myself as battered and bruised by work. In fact, I can still find internships; my expectations have just lowered. Similarly, I still have a curiosity for exploring new things. Before writing this article, I briefly learned about Byte's newly open-sourced cross-end framework, Lynx.
I used to think that just memorizing things was low. In high school, I looked down on classmates who only knew how to apply formulas and rigidly memorized language answer templates. In college, I looked down on students who interacted more with teachers to boost their GPAs and crazily memorized knowledge points before finals. I increasingly feel that life is a long-term learning process. Now, I look down on myself, just as I have scorned my own soul seven times when it could have been ambitious but pretended to be humble. Recently, I've thought of many past events, but I just sighed and quickly threw myself back into looking for internships.
While showering at night, I chatted with my roommate about how difficult it is to find internships. As we talked, we mentioned how the overall environment is bad. I remembered the saying, "In a bad environment, everyone starts to doubt the meaning of hard work." What is wrong with this world? Yes, what is wrong with this world?
Moving forward in anxiety, let's encourage each other!
"You are the intimacy I have never had and cannot capture.
Yet I have your kiss, your soul, your heart,
Carrying me to fly, fly, fly, beyond meaning."